Wanting more

[Nacian]

Do you ever feel like you are in a pit, waiting for the moment to come when you are stuck in the same cycle of thoughts no more, when you finally achieve 2% of what you want to achieve just to know that the arrow is going upwards once and for all. But it's not like you are lost, you have found your way but now it is only waiting and every little thing that you encounter on the road makes you suffer. Then, there is also the issue of uncertainty, "what if I am wrong". After you've been through so much shit and seen so much, you don't really want your life to be full of action anymore and start enjoying the little thing while in the meantime you have immense creativity rushes but on the downside, severe depression. You tell yourself "I am a simple human with simple human needs" but it is not like that anymore. Maybe it was a year, maybe it was 10 years that changed your life, you've seen the dark pits and avoided them carefully, and now that you have found your way you have to wait in agony, but all you want to do is escape from even the possibility of ever becoming the things you've encountered and analyzed and deemed inappropriate for your type of mind and soul.
I don't know what this forum is but seemed like the appropriate place for me to whine about my life for a couple of minutes in hope that somebody may relate and have advice to share.

[Redbeck]

Dear Nacian,

Firstly welcome to the Oracle Forum community and thank you for your heartfelt enquiry. Where are you, well to most people you are azure in a place of learning: artistic, spiritual, psychological or scientific or just plain magick diamond white or coalhole black.

The world and its resources and citizenry are under siege: humankind and creatures great and small healing plant life are all in a mess my friend, hence perhaps your slough of despond, but listen up for it bites us all. Reason we’re here is to divert depression through learning, convert negative thinking into positive and channel that resultant surge in positive energy into doing good works. We like to see it as an alternative way of thinking, where the number patterns that emerge when transposing words to into their numeric equivalent expose the real biorhythms and crucial fault lines of life. You might find this a trial of conversion and comprehension, but it is worth the focus and you will eventually find that by striving to get to grips with concepts like these, in the end determination replaces despondency.

Sedation is not the answer either, whatever your chosen medication, narcotic or tipple, but to some including myself it is/was a necessary swimming journey where one, must dive deep to the point where the oxygen has almost run out and nudge the bottom before rising to the surface to find the ultimate freedom clarity of thought and purpose.

What I am saying is that a perceived lack of self achievement and dearth of opportunity is perhaps because the mind is flat-lining. First it needs to be occupied and interested, then stretched and overstretched with conundrums to solve and a sheer mountainous, enriching volume of knowledge, and once it is overcrowded! Yes that energy has been captured, thence to be diverted and applied with fearsome, tigerish zeal to the improvement of humankind, creatures of the field, air and water and disappearing species of these and the plant life flora that once carpeted the Earth, fed by fertile chemical-free soil and a sweet water table furnished by plunging falls, mighty rivers and lakes, and their clear crystal streams.

Not much to ask I know, for you must laugh at the enormity of adversity along the way more than you know, juvenile frustration is poisonous, despite the desire to up the pace; the conversion comes at its own speed. Persevere with this place at which you have arrived more by destiny than chance I suspect, and the rewards of a light heart will be plentiful and clouds of melancholia cast to the four therapeutic winds that conspire to help seal a shrinking hole in the ozone layer.

Nacian....Take care and mark my words.

Kind Regards Redbeck