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These Trials were something of an ontological, subconscious meta-business, that one could not navigate by chance alone, rather only with the aid of an amalgam of will, and a sternly conditioned resolve, pure as a heart of gold. Without intentions, a blank slate is a state of readiness and preparedness, like a pristine landscape, which behaves with a set of values of its own. In a strange inverted way, I knew that I was dreaming and that I had overcome trials such as these many times before. The work was done as I found myself putting one foot in front of the other. To recognizing which memory of me worked to trap /distract myself from the journey or better yet, destroy itself in the process of causing error to befall me – and to avoid giving it enough life to come into being within me.
As the forgetful fog that threatened to cause me to share in their error, drew about me, a world they have all come to be ensnared within. These were the nature of the Wandering Trials, small in comparison to those final moments in which I suffered, that began as I was startled, not from this nightmare, but into this unfamiliar landscape where I had no conception of survival. My only redeemable merits were hiding in the knowledge that without conceptualization, even the truth itself would be rendered meaningless. And so, a world governed by a shyness to mingle with me beckoned, arousing a sense of passion that marked this perilous course, with the unusual character presented in this case…

Dear GiantM [What does the M stand for by the way??] welcome to the Oracle Forum community and thank you for your articulate contribution. Redbeck

You may never have read it but your passages strike a stylistic chord, at least for me, with

Melancholy Experience in Literature of the Long Eighteenth Century

In particular content by Stuart Sim

THE EIGHTEENTH-CENTURY NOVEL AND CONTEMPORARY SOCIAL ISSUES

and

by Leigh Wetherall-Dickson

THE WORKS OF LADY CAROLINE LAMB (3 volumes, co-ed. with Paul Douglass)

Who was Lady Caroline Lamb? Lady Caroline was an Anglo-Irish aristocrat and novelist, best known for Glenarvon, a Gothic novel. She had an affair with Lord Byron, the British peer, poet and politician, a leading figure of the Romantic movement, in 1812, for whom she coined the phrase "mad, bad, and dangerous to know". Her husband was The Hon. William Lamb, who after her death at aged just 42, became British Prime Minister.